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I began training at a point in my life when I knew that something was missing. I have always enjoyed physical activity as an outlet for stress. I liked the way I felt calmer for about half an hour after I finished and that while exercising I was able to focus on something other than my thoughts. But after a while I would inevitably begin to feel troubled again.
For as long as I can remember I have suffered from emotional problems. Throughout much of my childhood into my adult years I have been plagued by long spells of depression coupled with intense feelings of anxiety and restlessness. I began seeing Doctors and specialists around the time I entered grade school. I had been traumatized, I refused to speak to anyone and I was put into a special school. Fortunately in this country children like me are usually given special treatment. But even though I was given special attention I was never able to feel the way I wanted. I had no control over my thoughts or emotions. My moods were always up and down.
As a teenager I was given a new set of diagnosis. I guess “depressed” and “rambunctious” were no longer good enough. Now I had Bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and post traumatic stress disorder. And depending on who you asked sometimes attention deficit disorder was thrown into the mix. I was put on one set of medications after another.
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As an adult I would say I was functioning but just barely. I did what needed to be done to ensure I had a roof over my head and food to eat but not much else. I had no real friends and found it impossible to trust others. I didn’t think anyone could understand what I was going through or what I was capable of.
After about a year of training on the degree program I began a program specifically designed for my emotional issues. It has been about a month and I am seeing amazing results. I am calmer throughout the day, better able to focus, and more in control of my thoughts and actions. I also do not become frustrated so easily which was a huge obstacle for me prior to starting the program.
I believe the way I interact with people has changed as well. As I become more accepting and patient with myself I am better able to extend that courtesy to others. I also know that this is just the beginning. If after a relatively short period of training my life has changed this drastically I can only dream of what the future holds in store!
Cat Soucier
